turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via mydrunkkitchen)

shredtheaqua:

You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying “I just find it funny how ” because there’s a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.

(via itsfuckingdistractingohgood)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

if nicole kidman named her kid TeenDude then they would be TeenDude kidman and if you dont think thats the coolest name ever you’re wrong

(via coughine)

tom-marvolo-dildo:

postllimit:

mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something

my mom once called my by the dead cats name

not just the cat

the dead cat

(via sherralotz)

tupacabra:

prettygirlfrommichigan:

tupacabra:

name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense

wat are u talking about they all make scents

(via sherralotz)

Cosima + talking with her hands

(via carryonwaywardwinchesters)

That long, quiet lull. I don’t like it.

(via oodlyenough)

© HV